Mommy Supremacy

This weekend I realized I have an infinite amount of power over the developing minds of my boys. Several conversations came up and questions arose that I found myself with two options, answer correctly, or make something up.  Admitting that I did not know the answer was just not possible.
The topic was poop. The question was
Does a grouper fish poop?
 Yes.
In the water?
 Yes.
Is it the same water we drink?
 Well. kind of, yes.
Ew. So we drink poop water?
 No.
Does everything poop?
 Yes, everything that is living, poops.
So plants poop?
 No.
But you said....
 I  know.
 Without warning the topic transcended to robbers.  They asked
Why do robbers steal things and why they don't they just go to work?
 Well, I said, they think its easier to steal. 
Like, when they guy stole your purse?
 Yes, there are just some bad people out there.  
If God made everything then why did he make robbers?
 Yes, God did make everyone but he also gave everyone freewill and people just make evil choices.
Evil? Why do Evil people have red eyes?

Another smooth transition

Is there another baby in your tummy? Because it looks like it.,
This is when I snapped a bit and asked him to stop asking me that, I have had 4 babies and the last one was 4 months ago, what do you expect kid?
  No! 
Well how do you know?
  I just do. 
Well, if there is I hope this one is dark skinned.
 It won't be. 
Why?
This went into a genetics discussion about how 2 light skinned persons do not have a dark skinned baby. But our neighbor has 2 light skinned parents and she is dark skinned, yes, but she is from Haiti and she grew in a different woman but her mommy is still her mommy.
Was I in a different ladies tummy before yours?
 NO! 
Then one said to his brother " yes you were"

Seriously, this took place in a 7 min. car ride to Target.  These are tough questions.  And they warn you about texting and driving. What about interrogating and driving?  One slip of the tongue, and you can taint the outlook of your kid forever.

When I was a little girl, I asked my mom why the headstones in this one particular cemetery were flat. And she said because it was night time and they put them in the ground. Somewhere there was a communication breakdown. Because up until I was 13 I believed that the headstones had some remote feature that would put the headstones in the ground.  Of course, she denies any recollection of this conversation.  Hey...maybe that is the answer.

Denial!

My brother told his first daughter that cantaloupe was pronounced cant-a-loop-ay.  Perfect example of how the gift of parenthood, if given to the power hungry individual can have magnificent consequences.  She is 15 now, and I'm sure she knows that he was just joking.....maybe, and a cruel joke at that.