It has been a week since the Mamalogues, and I have had some time to reflect on what an amazing night it was. But it might not be for the reasons you expect.
A little ritual I do before every show is that I visit the space and say a prayer for each of the women who will be reading. I also say a prayer for the audience to be open to receive what they have to say. If anything, this helps calm my nerves and sets a good tone for the rest of the night. I do this for most performing arts events. (My full time job is managing and publicizing music events). But, similarly when my dad has an art show or my brother has a concert, I will set the same intention. Art is subjective, I realize this, and not everyone will like it.... that is the hard part, especially for a people pleaser. I just really really want people to enjoy it!
What people may not know is that when the idea of a staged show first came to my mind, I wasn't feeling very creative at all. In fact, I was in a really dark place. I was at my rock bottom of postpartum depression and anxiety, and I received an invitation to meet some friends for dinner. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I hated what my second pregnancy had done to my body. I didn't feel like I could be a fun person to be around. I just wanted to sit in the shower and let the water drown the negative voices in my head. But, somehow I ended up at dinner with about eight women, all of which had recently had babies. We shared stories without judgement, and for a brief moment, I forgot about how sad I was. I returned home uplifted. The collective energy of women is intoxicating and powerful. We get together to celebrate happy times, but why is that when things get rough, we retreat to ourselves? That is when we need each other most. That is when the idea of the Mamalogues, a time where we could share stories openly, crossed my mind.
I was a tomboy growing up, and have always had more guy friends than girlfriends. I like to play sports and have played soccer the majority of my life. Most of the time I spent with girls, it was on the soccer field. I loved them like sisters. (Still do.) There was no competition. We all had a common goal, which was to do the best we could to win the game. I never wished that our goalie Sarah would miss a shot, I wanted her to succeed. I never compared myself to Katie, the best defender (who I played soccer with for a decade) because we each had a different skill, that was equally important. Yet, after college, I didn't have a team of my own anymore. I found myself comparing myself to others, especially women. The voice in my head would tell me they were prettier, thinner, smarter, more successful than me. This is what happens when you are alone. You start to believe all those things. The truth is, just because someone may have an amazing body, doesn't mean I don't. Because they have a great job, doesn't mean they didn't put in the damn hard work to get it. Thier success isn't my failure.
We desperately need to celebrate our successes and support each other in our weaknesses.
When women are working together, we are a force to be reckoned with. For me, it is a waste of time knocking other women down because of my own insecurities. A better use of my time is to inspire women. To encourage them to take up more space and not less. And I wanted to give them a platform to showcase who they are.
If you were there last Thursday, you witnessed just that. In the five years that we have been doing this, I have never felt more support from the audience, and not just women, men too, all ages. In an age of technology dominated our existence, it was refreshing to see everyone engaged. What it comes down to, is we are all on the same team.
A man in his 60's stopped me after the show and told me how much he enjoyed it. He said, he expected it to be women complaining about men. ( For the record, complaining is boring, so we would never do that.) But what he found was that he went on a roller coaster of emotions, and he was so moved by the openness of everyone who shared her story. Who would have thought that just the act of sharing a story and and exposing a bit of vulnerability could be an act of bravery?
I did. That's who.
Kate told me that a woman stopped her as she was picking up her son from camp and shared that she could totally identify with Kate's piece about Sam. That is the point of this whole show! Bringing people together and starting a dialogue about stuff, sometimes hard stuff, sometimes funny stuff, but all of that stuff matters.
Today I took three little girls to camp and I listened closely as they discussed their favorite part of the Wonder Woman movie. I loved hearing them say that the fight scene was tied with Wonder Woman's ability to speak every language as their favorite part. One girl said, "there is nothing she can't do."
Exactly.
It is a lesson for all of us. But Wonder Woman could never have defeated anyone by herself. She needed the support of her friends and family. If she would have wasted time wondering if she was good enough, strong enough or whatever enough, to do it, she would have never tried.... and never saved the world.
We are certainly not saving the world with the Mamalogues, but we are saving ourselves. And maybe saving someone else when they need it most. And making great friends along the way.
It was just a crazy little idea I had, but because I took the small but scary step to act on it, I found my team again. A team that is rooting for each other.
I'm beyond grateful for Kate for being awesome and being a rock when my insecurities start crashing over her and everyone in my path like waves of a tsunami.
And of course, thank you and Congrats to the 2017 team, Becky S., Natasha, Alison, Katherine, Amiee, Jenny, Amy, Jennifer, Maria, Becky C. Jill, Sandy, Mandy, Tiphini, Kelli and Cherish. You gals rocked.
And lastly, thank you to the audience who were just as part of the show as everyone else.
The next Mamalogues will take place in the summer of 2018.
